Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Where Are You at in Your Relationship?


I'm a failure in relationship-intimate relationship, to be more specific-and no, it is not self-doubt, or negative thought. I face it as it is! Honest! Truthful! Realistically!

After all, I've only experienced one relationship in my life, and that was with the X for over 20 years! Even now, I don't know how to label that relationship either. Was it love? Was it dependency? Was it really a relationship? What was it?

Five Signs That Tell Your Relationship is Over

This is an article I wrote in December of last year, about my miserable relationship with the X of 20 years. It took me almost five years after the divorce to realize that there was no relationship at all. We were just merely co-existed!

It is not to imply that he is a bad person at all; it is just that he is not the right person for me!

I've listed the five signs that killed my relationship in this article. It's as bold as I can make it! It's as how I experienced it. If you ask the X, he will say: "It's not true", because my feelings had never weight much in his opinion.

So Where Are You at in Your Relationship?

One of my skills to solve problems is asking questions, and then listens for the answers in my heart. I will throw out a list of questions here, base on my life experiences, and what I want in a relationship.
  • Are you happy to see your partner?
  • Does your partner pay attention to you in a crowded room?
  • If you have an idea, or opinion, how did your partner react to it? Laughing it off, or considering it?
  • If you have a plan to be together, is it honored, or dismissed as soon as the phone rings?
  • Is your partner in-tune with your feelings, and offers comfort?
  • Are you both working toward a future together?
  • Is there a middle ground?
  • Can you tolerate your partner's behavior, attitude, and priority?
These questions may seem insignificant, but if you can't answer them, you know where your relationship is at.

What Can You Do to Make It Better?

  • Start the change in yourself first. Read self-improvement books. Find your weakness and strength to know who you are, and your view in life. No one can make you happy, except yourself!
  • Contentment in who you are, and who your partner is.
  • Relationship is really a 50/50 give-and-take ratio.
  • Communicate to resolve issues, no matter how big or small. Get it out in the open to voice your opinion, and avoid build-ups in your mind.
  • Set aside one day/night a week to work on the problem area.
  • Deal with your personal relationship problems as you would deal with a business partner: with respect, with suggested solutions, and with an open mind!
It is easy for me to say it now as I saw where my problems were! In my case though, I had no chance of making a different since who I am and what I am meant absolute nothing to the X. I was pretty much a puppet on a string!


 

5 comments:

  1. I appreciate this honest post and the insight/resources you provide. I'll be back to read this post again to be sure my relationships stay as strong as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so glad you asked those questions because they are so important in a relationship.

    I was excited that I could answer yes to all of them.

    Thanks also for adding a link to my article. That was so very kind of you.

    God bless.

    Best wishes,
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you Anne for your kind comments and visit..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ohh, I can read your heart here! You intentionally brought your life into print. Thanks for sharing. I really really admire your honesty!

    But, I guess..you're happier now than before? eh?

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking your time to comment! I will visit you as soon as I can, promise..

Stop by my other blogs:

Pragmatic Soul
Beyond Wandering
Beyond Zephyr



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