"Adult bullies target their victims in many of the same way children who bully do. While many people think that bullying only occurs amongst children, it can also happen in the workplace among adults."
The quote above is directly from Stop a Bully-Characteristics of Adult Bully Targets. It is what I have been experiencing these last two months, when my little boy and I became victims to a neighbor bully.
This woman began to show signs of aggressiveness, by yelling at us whenever she saw fit, and teld us what to do even at our own home. For seven years that we've living here, we've tried our best to keep peace, but it only got worst when she knew the older children moved away.
After many incidents, I started to feel stressed out, couldn't sleep, and my body ached! My energy was low with just the thought of her! My first reaction was "oh sh...what's now" when I see her stomp down on to my driveway.
Her physical body is three time the size of little me, (she is around 280 lbs, while I'm at 75, you do the math) and yes I am, afraid, even though I didn't do anything wrong!
Characteristics of Bullies
- Power domination
- Controlling and manipulating
- Physically aggressive behavior
- Think they are the center of the universe
- Pick on vulnerable people
- Socially isolated
- Physically small or weak
- Different race, or ethnicity
- Quiet, polite, and keep to oneself
However, we belong to a church, involve with swimming, soccer, and baseball teams. We are on the road most of the time, but just not at our own neighborhood.
There are not enough hours in the day for me to get things done, but in the back of my mind, I always have to be prepared with some sort of answers to make the neighbor bully happy, just in case she questions my choices! Why is that? Who the heck is she to me or my child?
Though I believe it was our rights to do whatever we want at our own house, the bully neighbor didn't want us to do so. Her list of unhappiness are:
- My son introduced her son as neighbor
- My son didn't invite her son to his birthday party
- My son didn't look at her son when he has to run in the house to take a pee
- I'm a bad mother for not making my son share his friends with her son
- I didn't teach my son the right thing to do because I allow him to choose who he wants at his birthday party
- I have nothing to do, so I should hang out with her everyday
A few weeks ago, when she intimidated me with her big body, towered over me with her voice, and expressed her horrid opinion about my parental skill, I took a bite out of her bully days!
I cut out the relationship, and ask her to just live us alone! She didn't give up that easily, still yelling after us from her own house, but that has to stop too! I am ready to enlist the help of law enforcement.
Being a victim makes me feel very small, and violated! It also makes me feel like I have no rights as a human being, and that I fail as a mother to protect my son.
Why is it that people think they have the right to tell others what to do? Why is niceness always turned out bad? Or was it my fault to fit the characteristics of victims?